I was scrolling around in YouTube comment sections when I came across an old comment of mine under Dimash's 'Love's Not Over Yet' video. I was responding to a troll comment.
It never fails... every time Dimash releases something, the trolls come out. Meh. What else is new? 😂 I've been eight years in this fandom and I have come to realise these people are always going to be around.... like washing machine lint.
Just ignore them. Yes, I should take my own advice but I was in a funny mood that day 😘😁
Dimash 'screams' and the troll doesn't like it. Well, I don't really like high notes and my presence in this fandom is a mystery. A miracle, if you like. 😆 But I'm here because Dimash's singing does something to my brain. My heart, my soul. Even his 'screaming'.
The first time I listened to LNOY, the high notes at the end of 'You hold our destiny in your haa-aaaands' made me cringe a bit. Remember I'm 'allergic' to high notes. But I have come to realise that the devices I use can't handle those high notes. If I use my Bang & Olufsen speakers, the sound is rounder and fuller. But yeah, still high notes.
My personal experience with these high notes of his.... they make me feel as if my soul is a tiny bird streaking straight up into the sky... faster than light. An expression of pain that goes beyond the physical, the mental ... so extreme that it is inexpressible in any other form.
I think this is why we express our agony through screams and wails.... we need to let go the sharp knives cutting through our being and only this brings temporary relief. Maybe that's part of why I feel some discomfort at the first few listens... but it will go away after that. Maybe it's a kind of scrubbing out?
So, perplexing as it is, I need Dimash's high notes. It's one of the very few things that can send my soul winging high and far. 🥹

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